This List of Heart Puns Doesn’t Miss a Beat You’ll Fall Under the Spell of These Hideous Witch Puns

heart puns feature

You can take it, lose it, follow it, cross it, or wear it on your sleeve. It can be hard, warm, full, heavy, stout, broken, or bleeding. You can pour it out or speak straight from it.

We’re talking of course about the heart. As you can see, there are plenty of English expressions featuring this vital organ, which holds a place of honor both anatomically and rhetorically. It even has its own well-known symbol associated with romantic love, Valentine’s Day, and expressions of online approval.

And then there are heart puns. Because the word heart is in such wide circulation, it was relatively easy to come up with the following collection of clever heart-related wordplay. If you hate puns, your own heart might be sinking right now. If you love them, you should be pumped.

A list of cute and clever heart puns for Valentine's Day or any time

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To start, here are some punny heart riddles.

What’s the best shade of red for a heart?
Beat red!

What's the best shade of red for a heart? Beat red!

What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart!

Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it!

What do you call someone who loves dark beer?

What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts!

What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater!

What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure!

Why did the little girl color her Valentines pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted!

Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein!

Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart!

What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt!

Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out!

How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart!

What did the gardener give his sweetie for Valentine’s Day?
A heart beet!


Here are some expressions of love that make use of heart puns. For more ideas along these lines, see this list of love puns.

I have a heart-on for you.

I have a heart-on for you.

I can heartly wait to see you again.

I lub dub you with all my heart.

You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.

When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.

You’re my heartthrob.

You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.

You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.

Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.


Finally, here are some heart puns you can attach to gifts, especially on Valentine’s Day. If you’re sending sweets, you might also want to check out these candy bar sayings.

Hope you party hearty this Valentine’s Day!

Hope you party hearty this Valentine's Day!

I heartily wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!

You already have my heart, but I thought you could use an extra one.

Please accept this heartfelt gift.

My heart goes out to you this Valentine’s Day.

If you enjoyed these heart puns, you might also get a chuckle out of this lighthearted list of cheesy Valentine’s Day sayings.

These witch puns are so bad, you might even find them hex-cruciating.

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