Pun-kins: A Plump and Tasty List of Pumpkin Puns You’ll Fall Under the Spell of These Hideous Witch Puns

punkin face

Pumpkins are pretty hard to ignore. After all, they’re huge, orange, and during the fall, extremely plentiful. You can find them just about everywhere this time of year, from your front porch to your daily latte.

It’s no surprise that pumpkins also crop up in a lot of sayings. Throw in jack o’ lanterns, squash, gourds, and other related concepts, and you’ve got the seeds of some clever wordplay. And by clever, we mean painfully corny.

Just in time for Halloween, we’ve harvested this collection of hilarious and awful pumpkin puns from various sources. For extra groans and giggles, we’ve even carved out a few of our own creations.

Pumpkin puns for Halloween

Punny Pumpkin Jokes

Pumpkins and jack o’ lanterns are the subjects of many a Halloween joke. Here are some of the best pumpkin riddles for kids and pun-loving adults.

What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?

What’s a jack o’ lantern’s favorite movie?
Pulp Fiction!

How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?
Use a pumpkin patch!

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin pi!

Where do jack o’ lanterns live?
In the seedy part of town!

Where do jack o' lanterns live? In the seedy part of town!

Who helps little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd!

What do you call a little pumpkin who doesn’t listen to the crossing gourd?

What do you call a chubby jack o’ lantern?
A plumpkin!

What do you call a pumpkin on steroids?
A jock o’ lantern!

What do you call a pumpkin who spits his seeds everywhere?
A jerk o’ lantern!

What do you call a pumpkin who spits his seeds everywhere? A jerk o’ lantern!

What does a pirate jack o’ lantern wear?
A pumpkin patch!

Why didn’t the jack o’ lantern cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!


Whether you’re giving someone an actual pumpkin or just a pumpkin-themed gift, these sayings add a cute extra touch.

I hate to get all mushy on you, but you’re the cream of the crop.

I thought this gift would pump you up.

Orange you pumped for Halloween?

If you think I don’t appreciate you, you don’t know jack!

Here’s the scoop – without you, my brains would turn to mush!

Without you, I’d be out of my gourd!

I’m so pumped to have you as a friend!

[For a Kid] For our little punkin

[For a Relative] Since you’re my kin, I wanted to give you something that would pump you up for Halloween

[Jack o’ Lantern] For someone whose smile always lights up a room

Pumpkin Carving Party

What better way to get people pumped up for a pumpkin carving contest than by unleashing some bad puns? Here are a few you can use on invitations, posters, or whatnot.

I was pumped up for Halloween
Now it’s time to get jacked up!

Let’s carve out some fun this October!

What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
Cut it out!

What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out!

The little punkins are all scared for Halloween
Let’s help them put on a happy face!

Are you PUMPED UP, out of your GOURD, and ready to SQUASH the competition?
Then Come to Our Pumpkin Carving Contest!

If you enjoyed these pumpkin puns, you might also want to check out our list of fall puns. You won’t be-leaf how bad they are.

These witch puns are so bad, you might even find them hex-cruciating.

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