100+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages & Greetings

During the Christmas season, happiness takes over like the snow in winter. It’s a time to celebrate like never before, and what better way to set the mood than with a funny Christmas wish? These humorous Christmas wishes are sure to spread holiday joy and bring smiles to your loved ones. So, don’t hesitate to infuse your Christmas messages with the magic of witty humor and share them generously with your cherished friends and family. Embrace the festive cheer and make this Christmas season a treasure trove of smiles and laughter.

Funny Christmas Wishes

Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic; Merry Christmas!

May your smiles match the size of your Christmas credit card bill! Wishing you good luck and heaps of fun. Merry Christmas!

Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So makes sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow 😁 Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

This is the time of the year to feel special and cared for because when it ends, nobody cares if you exist or not. Merry Christmas!

The only message I want to give you this Christmas is not to drink too much because I will not be there to carry you home! Merry Christmas to you all!

I hope Santa fills our socks with cash instead of gifts and toys. I know you hope for the same. Wish you a happy Christmas!

You are too old to receive gifts from Santa. I am wishing you a lovely Christmas.

Don’t worry about how to celebrate the Christmas eve. I know you are going to sleep anyway. Merry Christmas.

May your Christmas be as fat, happy, and plentiful as Santa’s! Merry Christmas!

Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!

Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas; it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas 😂

I hope Santa doesn’t find all the faults you have been keeping under the blanket. Merry Christmas, dear.

Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

This Christmas is all about feeling special. I hope you spend this Christmas drinking to the point that you completely forget you’re a loser!

I prayed that Santa would give you wings this Christmas so you can fly and disappear from the earth forever. Just kidding. Merry Christmas!

To all my friends, Merry Christmas and congratulations again for not ending up on Santa’s good list 🤣😂

Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!

Some people have a great year in life and some years have bad people in them. Are you feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be full of fun!

You know your life sucks when you have to wait the entire year for Santa to bring you some presents because apparently, no one care to give you a present.

May you survive the priest’s boring speech in the church and join me at the party as soon as possible. Merry Christmas!

Christmas teaches us to be hard-working and dedicated. Remember, Even Santa has to work on holidays!

The reason why everyone makes wishes every Christmas is that no one’s wish ever comes true! Making Christmas wishes is just a custom! Merry Christmas!

I hope your celebration will be big and your bill will be small this Christmas. Have a joyful Christmas!

As you all prepare to send me Christmas wishes one by one, let me remind you that sending cash money can also be an alternative!

I hope Santa leaves a lot of presents in front of your door so you can share them with me. Wishing you a merry Christmas.

I heard you received a big fatty bonus from your office. So, I’m coming to celebrate Christmas in your home. Merry Christmas.

Funny Christmas Messages

Christmas is not only for praying and praising. But for drinking and messing around also. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green. So please get the point and send me lots of cash this Christmas. Thank you!

Your Christmas greeting was the most wonderful of all. However, you are the one who should be filling my socks at Christmas, not my inbox!

Please allow Jesus to Come and Bless people in Church on Christmas; if he sees you there, he may not. So come here and have a party with me; Merry Christmas to you!

Merry Christmas to you. I can see you have a great decoration there. But I think your credit card bill will not be as attractive as your decorations!

A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, and a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s with tongues. So open your mouth, close your eyes, and give your tongue some exercise! Merry Christmas!

Yes, Santa clause does exist and his beards are fake. He appears once a year because the rest of the days he’s just your dad!

Santa was looking at a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her body for a long time. Santa asked what are you doing and she answered: Waiting for autumn.

There are four stages in life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts. Have a fun Christmas!

Listen to my logic, it’s Jesus’ birthday, not yours or mine. So maybe we can skip the buying gift ritual and save money this holiday. Merry Christmas.

Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poisonous cookies you just ate. Thank you.

Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you don’t get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.

Funny Replies To Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you, too. I tried hard to make Santa believe you are a good company. That’s why he refused to give me my present too.

Thanks for your lovely Christmas wish. Just a quick reminder- don’t waste all your savings on Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, too.

Merry Christmas to you, too. May you receive loads of money, gifts, and endless opportunities to be on next year’s excellent list.

Thanks! Eat as much fruit cake as you want because the calories will be gone the following year.

Thanks for your Christmas wish. I wish to enjoy a Christmas dinner with you. I may not be good at cooking, but I’m the best at eating.

Wishing you and your family a lovely Christmas Eve. May the season make your cheeks pain from laughing and eating.

Thanks! Christmas is becoming so dull as we get older. It’s like, what do we want? A bundle of money? A car? Or a job promotion?

Merry Christmas! Christmas comes once a year, just as my good times come once in a lifetime! Have a joyous Christmas.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

I just wanted to let you know that you will be on Santa’s naughty list this year. Merry Christmas!

Stop asking for presents from Santa and be the Santa for the kids around you. Suits your age. Merry Christmas!

Santa told me you are on the good list this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Just kidding! Have a wonderful Christmas!

Wishing you a white Christmas this year. If you run out of the white one, remember I have plenty of supply for the red one. Merry Christmas dear friend!

Congratulations on making it to the top five of Santa’s naughty list once again. You are truly a gem of a friend!

May your Christmas be filled with large smiles and festivities, but not with a big belly. Merry Christmas!

You’re now at a stage of your life when you really need to ask yourself if you believe in Santa or not! Grow up, man. Merry Christmas!

I’ve just received the bad news. Santa had a heart attack. Cause of death was your name on the good list of this year!

Christmas is the only time when eating candy out of socks is cool! Good luck with your smelly socks and expired candies. Merry Christmas!

I’ll declare war if you throw a snowball at me. Let’s make this the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had! Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend

Having you by my side this Christmas means everything extra. Extra food, extra admiration, extra bills- everything. Love you anyway, love.

Santa asked me what my heart wanted this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!

You don’t need Santa to get special presents while you have me in life. I am your all-year-long Santa. Be grateful, woman. Love you.

Christmas has been postponed because I did not receive my late-night kiss. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to hug me as a penalty. Merry Christmas!

I pray to Lord for your Christmas to be special. Just like your special pie. Dying to taste that in this holiday season.

I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!

I wrote to Santa admitting that I have been naughty throughout this year and it’s all because of you. Now, I’m waiting for Santa’s reply. Merry Christmas!

May your Christmas be spent eating candies and cakes as long as you don’t forget brushing your teeth. Wishing you a Merry Xmas!

If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!

You’re too young to go to clubs with friends. Pray for gifts from Santa or let’s go on a date this Christmas. Merry Christmas Cutypie!

I have no money to spend for you on this Christmas but know that I always have time to spend with you this Christmas! I love you!

Christmas is a festival of love and good spirit, so make sure you shower me with lots of love this holiday. Merry Christmas.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend

Christmas is the time to be with good people. So make a plan to spend the whole Christmas with me. Merry Christmas, love!

I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I’d also like a new credit card! Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

Your name has been missing from both the naughty and nice list of Santa. So, I told him to search for your name on his handsome list. I’m sure he will find it there!

Nowadays, you look like Santa with a big tummy and long beard. Guess what, you are going to the gym next year! Happy Holidays!

From the bottom of my heart, all I want this Christmas is you, and all the gifts and candies from you are nothing but a sign of your love for me.

Merry Christmas, dear! May Santa bring you winning lottery tickets in your socks!

Every time I see you, I think of Santa. You have so many things in common with that big, fat, silly guy except that long-white beard. Merry Christmas dear!

Santa has already given me what I have wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!

Sending your way a bundle of warm wishes and good luck on this holiday. Take my love and don’t forget to bring presents for me tonight. Merry Christmas!

With you, the craziest winter breeze seems warmer than a hot coffee. Thanks for making my Christmas wonderful and my life by simply being you.

Read: Romantic Christmas Wishes

Funny Christmas Wishes For Wife

The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!

Merry Christmas, darling! Don’t worry about the Christmas calories. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

Dearest wife, I’ve got the perfect Christmas gift – I’ll do the dishes, and you relax. After all, miracles do happen at Christmas, right?

This Christmas, I wanted to get you something thoughtful, beautiful, and expensive… then I remembered you already have me as a husband. Merry Christmas!

The season has finally come for every husband in the world to go broke from being rich finally. Merry Christmas to all the beautiful wives out there.

As I kept an eye on you throughout the year, you have been a good girl. Have a magical Christmas, wifey!

Christmas may well be a season to celebrate for you, but for me, it means trying my ass off to save every single penny I earned this year and make it through to the next year.

Everything may grow old, but not you and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes your way this holiday season!

Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband

May all your savings doesn’t get spent on Christmas presents but do find me a good deal. Love you, dear husband.

All I want for Christmas is YOU, but as I have already got you, thanks in advance for the hot chocolate on Christmas eve. Merry Christmas, husband dearest.

Santa said you’ve been a great one this year. So, he will be giving you free vouchers to clean the house and find random things. Best of luck, hubby.

You’ve been very good this year, but still not good enough for making it to Santa’s good list! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, the love of my life. After all our fancy Christmas dinners, I enjoy the fact that I am not the only one washing the dishes. Love you.

Our plans for Christmas: Let’s have all the fun of our life and then we’ll both be praying until our credit bills arrive to rip us off. Happy Xmas!

I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you are getting fatter than Santa Clause. Even Santa would bully you this for being so fat! Merry Christmas hubby!

Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues

Dear colleague, hope you will stop thinking about work this holiday season and actually enjoy it and let us enjoy it. Joking, Merry Christmas.

Wishing you a white Christmas where you will forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your workloads.

As Santa is planning to fill your socks with gifts, we are planning to fill your pockets with cash. Enjoy Christmas with your loved ones and come back to the office with double dedication!

Christmas wishes are like overtime pay – the more, the merrier! Wishing you heaps of joy and laughter this holiday season, coworker!

Wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope the upcoming year you won’t stop giving me hard time in the office. JOKING. God bless.

Merry Christmas, dear. Even though we didn’t play secret Santa this year, we would have given you a clock intending to arrive earlier in the office.

May this Christmas be really busy for you as the rest of the year was kinda blah. Have a tremendous time. Lots of love.

Hope you get to drink a lot and feast well in the holiday season. Lose yourself and have a bit more fun. Merry Christmas, my dear coworker.

Funny Christmas Wishes For Family Members

Ever wonder why Santa does not fill your socks anymore? Because you are not a kid anymore! Grow Up!

Merry Christmas bro. This year, let’s kidnap Santa and steal all his gifts. We are never going to end up on his good list anyway!

Merry Christmas, bro! May your day be more pleasant than listening to Mom and Dad sing carols off-key. Love you!

Merry Christmas, sis! May your day be as flawless as your makeup and less chaotic than our childhood pillow fights!

May your gifts stack up higher than the pile of socks in your laundry bin. Merry Christmas Son!

Merry Christmas, daughter! Don’t forget to save some sparkle for the New Year, or you might outshine the Christmas lights!

Merry Christmas, sister! I Hope Santa’s got a big bag this year – to fit all the patience you’ll need dealing with me in the new year!

You and Santa are similar in many ways. Both are fat, wear red and are relevant for just a day in a year! 25th December!

This Christmas, buy yourself some gifts, because nobody cares and even Santa doesn’t know that you exist.

Funny Christmas Greeting Card Messages

I know you are grouchy, but I wish your Christmas to be merry! Best wishes to you!

It’s time to enjoy the holiday, spend some real cash, and realize in the end that money is everything that we ever wanted from Santa.

Remember, Santa only brings gifts to the nice ones. It looks like you are safe – for now! Merry Christmas!

I think Santa must ride a plane instead of a sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.

Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

You are allowed to have an awesome Christmas as long as I have my presents waiting at my doorstep. Have a great time!

Merry Christmas! Sending you warm and fuzzy Christmas wishes – the kind you get from wearing a wool sweater!

Christmas calories don’t count, so eat, drink, and be happy – it’s the scientifically proven holiday rule!

Santa may have the sleigh, but I’ve got the snacks! Let’s get festive and have a ho-ho-hilarious Christmas!

Funny Christmas Captions

Santa Clause exists, and he has to work during the holidays. How pathetic!

May your Christmas be as extravagant as the costumes on Santa this year. #MerryChristmas

Brace yourself for the biggest surprise of the year; the magical disappearance of your yearly savings!

Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.”

Christmas is the festival of love and spirit. So let us drink the spirit to feel love; Merry Christmas too!

Do not spend all of your savings in one day over this lovely holiday. Merry Christmas!

Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.

Funny Christmas Quotes

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller

“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White

“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers

“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn