Retirement is a solemn affair that should always be treated with the utmost sensitivity.
Just kidding! Retirement can bring out mixed emotions, but in general, it’s a joyous milestone in a person’s life. After decades of clocking in and operating according to someone else’s schedule, the lucky retiree finally gets to call the shots – and that’s an occasion worth celebrating.
It’s also an occasion that calls for some levity. If you know someone who’s retiring – whether it’s a friend or coworker – one of the best ways to send them off is with a joke. To help you come up with the right words, here’s a list of funny retirement wishes that will leave them laughing when they go.
For a Friend
To start, here are some funny retirement messages you can send to friends.
Uh oh. Someone’s about to have too much free time on [his/her] hands.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can put new tires on an old car. That’s what you’re doing: re-tiring.
When “I’m too old for this shit” becomes your daily mantra, you know it’s time to retire. Hope you enjoy all the adventures you have ahead of you.
Can you say Senior Discount? Hope you enjoy all the perks of retirement.
Now your only job is having fun – and I know you’re a real pro at that.
Retirement doesn’t make you an old fart, but it does mean you no longer give a shit.
Now is the time to throw professionalism out the window once and for all.
Enjoy your permanent weekend.
Prepare yourself for years of hearing: “You look too young to be retired!”
Now it’s time to stop fawning over your boss and start fawning over your grandkids.
AARP: The sound you make when you realize that getting showered and dressed in the morning is now optional.
For a Colleague
Here are some hilarious messages for a retiring coworker.
Without you around, I’ll never be able to stay awake for status meetings.
Your retirement will leave an empty space in our hearts, not to mention the break room fridge.
Your retirement brings out a lot of emotions in me, but I’d have to say envy is the biggest one.
This place won’t be the same without you. In case you’re wondering, that’s a compliment.
You might want to change your number. Once management realizes everything you did here, they’ll be begging you to come back.
I’m losing you as a coworker, but I better be keeping you as a lunch buddy.
Please take me with you!
For a Boss
Finally, here are some funny retirement wishes for a boss.
Now that you’re retiring, I can tell you how I really feel about you. And how I really feel is, you’re awesome. Best wishes!
Looks like the inmates will be running the asylum now.
Do you think you could give me a raise on your way out the door? 🙂
On a more serious note, retirement is also a time of goodbyes. If you’re looking for a more heartfelt sentiment to mark the occasion, consider one of these famous farewell quotes.
Invite friends and family to watch you say I do (again).