New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!
Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!
A new year doesn’t come to change your life. It comes to remind you that one more year has gone and you’re still the same useless moron who thinks he can make his resolutions come true!
I hope growing up is not included in your resolution this year. Let’s just live it like the old ones and we can grow up in some other years. Happy new year 2021, partner!
No resolution for the New Year, as I like my love in the state it is- criticizing and annoying you will go on the high range!
May this upcoming year actually bring change in you – not just all your old habits wrapped in a new package, Oh God! Happy New year, anyways.
I wish even your amount of success comes on my account and I can be more successful than you on this upcoming year. Happy New Year.
Happy new year! This year may finally realize that real fun in life comes from real people, not from the virtual ones. Have a great year!
If all the heartbreaks and troubles from the last year didn’t make you strong, let me wish one more year full of agony and tears. I really want you to be stronger. Happy new year!
Here’s a new year wish from a wise fellow asking you to donate more of your wealth so they can be spent by the right hands. Happy new year!
Though I am wishing a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband!
Happy new year! How’d it be if instead of bringing happiness, joy and peace, new year’s brought cash, fame and champagne?
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.
It’s a new year once again and it’s the same old life you’re living once again. What is there to celebrate?
New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy new year!
I’m so excited for the new year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect.
Life is short and every new year makes it even shorter. Happy new year! You just waved goodbye to one more year of your short life!
A new year doesn’t stop the ghosts from your past mistake coming back to haunt you. So, if you think you’re over it, you’re wrong. Happy new year!
The funniest part of a new year is making new resolutions. I am pretty sure you have one too. Let me know about your resolution and I’ll try not to laugh as I did in the last year.
Here’s a new year wish for you before the network gets jammed. I hope you’re having great fun. Wishing you a successful year ahead!
God is kind enough to give you a new year but not so kind to give you a new life. Happy new year 2020!
May you become smart enough to realize that resolutions don’t come true and wise enough to know that the difference between a new year and old year is 1-minute past 12 AM.
New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!
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Funny New Year Messages
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year!
Wishing you successful 12 months, Joyful 52 weeks, lovely 365 days, memorable 8760 hours, blessings of 525600 minutes and happiest 31536000 seconds. Happy New Year!
The most fun part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking New Year’s resolutions. Can’t wait to mess up with you.
I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!
If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully.
I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!
Listen, I don’t want to end this year with bad terms with anyone. So, apologize to me till you have your chance. Happy New Year.
I hope this new year bring you joy and happiness because oh lord you look so ugly when you end up crying. I don’t want to witness that ever again.
Happy New Year! I can save you from spending a good amount of fortune on New Year ’s Eve. So, what’s in it for me? Spill. Or else you are going to suffer so much.
Happy New Year! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.
Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, Let me wish you Happy New Year.
This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!
Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Salman Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachchan and Me. All the stars wish you a very happy new year.
If I had done you wrong, I am sorry. May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again. Happy New Year!
My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080.
I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.
To my friends, I wish peace, love and health. Blah, Blah… screw that. I wish you lot’s of sex, booze, orgasms and hope you win the lotto. Happy new year!
As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.
This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!
It’s the thing that satisfies your mind, body & soul! Do it on the bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere! It’s called Prayer! God bless your naughty mind. Happy new year!
I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!
They say pain and tears help one to be stronger, So I am wishing you more tears and pain. For you to become even stronger than last year. Happy New Year!
As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you the addition of meaningful chapters. Happy New Year!
My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier. But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so I won’t do it anymore. Happy New Year to you!
May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.
Happy New Year from someone who is Adorable, Handsome and intelligent and want to see you smiling always.
I promise not to drink beer anymore, but since it’s not yet the eve, can I have a bottle more? Happy New Year, dear!
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Funny New Year Wishes for Friends
May God bless you with enough motivation to eat less and workout more often. Say no to obesity this new year! Wishing you all the best!
I hope you will not spend the first day of the new year sleeping on the couch. May God give you the strength to fight with laziness. Happy new year!
I wish God give you more money to help the poor and less money to spend on junk foods. Wishing you a healthy and disease-free year!
You have so many things to gain this year including success, fame, and wisdom. Don’t just focus on gaining weight instead. Happy new year dear friend!
I hope you lose so much weight this year that you can take group selfies with more people on the frame. Happy new year!
May you learn to use your brain in the coming year. It’s a wonder that you got through all these years without having one. Happy new year 2021!
Happy new year to someone who took the phrase ‘barely surviving’ to a whole new level. You’re a survivor without motivation. Happy new year!
Hilarious New Year Wishes
I hope you start the New Year as the startup of your old habits. Have the same old beautiful life in a box of New Year!
All I wish this new eve comes with a lot of joys for you since you look ugly while crying. Happy New Year!
I will quit drinking beer from 2021 new year eve but red wine, Russian vodka and champagne are welcome!
I hope you do a revolution of losing 20 pounds in the coming year and gain 30 pounds more instead. Wish you a New Year full of positivity!
I will try to be more understanding, less critical, more thoughtful and less annoying this year. Enjoy the brand new year!
Don’t be so worried about what you eat between Christmas and New Year’s but worry more about what you eat between New Year’s and Christmas.
May your New Year show you the shapeliest reflection in the mirror – so jog to the gym every day!
This Year may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!
I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!
New Year Resolution: tolerate friends and family with extreme care even when they burn down your privacy!
My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time & money to charities. I’ve decided to make my own coffee once a week.
May New Year makes you realize to stop being a black sheep of this family and start to be a dove that brings peace. Have a blessed new year!
I’m sorry, a special sorry for you! Plz Excuse my all mistakes at the beginning of the new year & Get Ready in New Year for New Mistakes! Bcoz I can’t change myself, Happy New Year!
I hope that this New Year, I will be with a woman other than you. I am tired to be your boyfriend. I think I want to try being your husband instead.
Take care how you meet and greet with people this New Year since broken spirits have no available spare parts!
Also Read: Romantic New Year Messages
I pledge that I shall not spend my New Year’s Day glues to my computers in my pajamas – I plan to dress up for my computer!
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means you have met your New Year’s resolution.
May the New Year be like a trip inside Santa’s gift bag that is well stocked with all that you have been eyeing since Black Friday sale.
May you find more time to help out the ignored and unattended people this New Year – and begin your charity at home – with your spouse.
May you have the grace and wisdom to act kindly, learning to distinguish between what is personal and what is not. May you have good friends to mirror your blind spots.
May you spend lesser time online this New Year and more with the real people who fill up your real world.
It’s New Year’s Eve! Time for fireworks and treats Just be careful though, Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two. Have a wonderful new year!
May you abandon fear, addictions and all other kinds of suppression and slavery the coming year.
Funny New Year Quotes
“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey Adams
“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” – William Thomas
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” – Taylor Swift
“New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain
“Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.” – Brooks Atkinson
“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years.” – Henry Moore
“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” – James Agate
“New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb
“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” -Anonymous
“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” – Oscar Wilde
May you become a billionaire this year, as I have dreamt that you are going to gift me a bungalow! Have a prosperous New Year!
It is a New Year wish from someone who is intelligent, beautiful and sexy, want to see you always happy!
Always keep a smile, forget the tears, enjoy the laughter, and set aside the fear, Wish you an amazing year!
I hope you can carry on your resolution to not smoking for a long day this New Year!
May you have a New Year full of rocking things that happened never before! Cheers to another year of life!
This Year I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum-throwing daughter on weekends. Happy New Year!
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
This New Year hope you are not tempted to pile up on health food cookbooks and then end up heating frozen food at mealtimes.